LOVE... In between Halaal & Haraam

     December 21st, 2012 was predicted by the Mayans to be the end of this 'dramatic', 'full of lies' world. It's now December 23rd, 2012 yet I'm still breathing (Alhamdulillah), you (who read this entry)are still breathing  as well (Alhamdulillah). This mean that we can't predict something that is beyond our knowledge and power. No one, not even the prophets  know the exact date of Qiyamah except Allah The Almighty. Since we don't know the exact date, let's just keep 'struggling' to be a better Muslim. Why did I say 'struggling' instead of other words? Cause in your journey to the betterment of yourselves, there will always be people who would go against you, there will also be obstacles as life tests. It's as if you're climbing the highest mountain and going down the valleys with various risks awaiting you in front. It won't be as easy as ABC. We shouldn't be worried over the tests that will come to us as we've Qur'an & Sunnah to guide us. Follow the Holy Qur'an & Sunnah, InshaAllah you'll not go astray.

     I was sitting next to my best friend who's driving the car on our way to Sunway Pyramid after having lunch with another two best friends on December 21st, when we started to talk and discuss the idea of LOVE and serious relationship. For me, the meaning of LOVE itself is too wide if we were to discuss it here. Love towards Allah SWT; the Creator, Prophet Muhammad SAW, religion,family, friends, etc. 

"Glory be to HIM, who created pairs of all things, of what the earth grows and of their kind and of what they do not know." Yasin: 36

     Back then when I was still in school, I admit that I've always wondered how it feels like to be loved by a guy. I guess, the influence from the surroundings was quite strong till I, myself almost (yes ALMOST!) fell into the devils' trap.It's a lie if I tell you, I've never fall in love before. It's normal isn't it for an adolescence to have such feelings? The difference is how we carry ourselves in that situation. I was the type of girl who hardly get close with guys. I guess I was looking like a 'monster' in school since the guys hardly talked to me unless for something very important. You know, being a prefect, you've to be firm in everything, you've to prove to the teachers that you can carry the responsibility and 'amanah' given to you. Anyhow, I'm fine with it. I admit atone point I do feel awkward talking to guys except for my cousins of course.Soon after that, I found myself 'accidentally' having the feeling of wanting a guy to be my 'boyfriend'. I heard of the sayings there's no such things as boyfriends and girlfriends in Islam but never did I understand that sentence even once. No one explains to me why is it so. Some only says it's Haraam. But I kept having doubt why is it Haraam? After all, we didn't stay in a house or a room together, it's not necessary that when you're having a boyfriend you would hold his hands or hug or even kiss him. Meanwhile, at that point of time I still have no boyfriend even family members/relatives kept saying/asking if I've boyfriend, who's my boyfriend and so on. When I denied, they 'accused' me for lying. I wasn't actually! They said, 'You're messaging non-stop!' They didn't know I was messaging with my best friends! Haha Typical situation isn't it? Yes, I was having feelings towards someone but I didn't text him or call him! It happened till I finished my secondary education.

    The'why is it haraam' question was still going around my mind till I enroll myself in Pre-University school where I get to mix with people of various background.I started to read more about the religion on the Net and in the books. Only then I realise and understand that having boyfriends and girlfriends means you're keeping a close distance towards 'zina'. The starting seems to be 'lovey dovey', 'sweet' (like Garret popcorn..lol), the ending is painful that some choose to commit suicide. Having feelings towards someone and at the same time not getting any attention from him or her is indeed 'painful'. It's even more'painful' when you try to forget him or her. I know. I've been into that particular edge of life. I tried many ways. I gave myself time. I kept myself busy with studies. I made myself work harder to achieve highest grades as possible since I've been taught to always try to achieve the best out of the best before giving up. In the end, I did it ! I managed to escape from the devils' trap and I found my way back 'home' to Allah. I found the 'real'happiness, the best LOVE that I need, the most beautiful one which is from HIM.It requires a lot of strength, a lot of 'revision' and of course du'as. Today,I understand the meaning to Dr Anwar Fazal's quote, 'When you found HIM, you found yourself.' And today, I'm indeed very grateful for not having boyfriends(forbidden relationship/couple) even once cause I know maybe it's HIS way to protect me from falling deeper into the devils' trap, maybe it's HIS way to'keep' and 'save' me for the Halaal one, InshaAllah and maybe it's HIS way to show, guide and give me the 'best' and 'most beautiful' love story in the future, InshaAllah. 

"So he watered (their sheep) for them  then he went back to the shade and said: My Lord! Surely I stand in need of whatever good THOU mayest send down to me." Al - Qasas: 24

     Thus,I just want to give a piece of advice to my brothers and sisters (maybe I don't deserve to give you advice..okay, I want to share this opinion of mine) that it's better, it's alright to not having puppy love or forbidden relationship now (while you're still schooling) cause the essential thing you would have to do currently is to focus on your studies, make your parents proud of you, make your parents happy and satisfy for investing such big amount of money on your education, achieve your dreams and goals and last but not least make HIM please with you! When you please HIM, HE will give you peace of mind, happiness and love in abundance and many moreeeee! Place your highest trust in HIM that one day, HE will send you the right guy or girl to be with you in the struggles of raising, teaching and guiding your kids to be 'soleh' and 'solehah', to recite the Qur'an verses to you and your children, to tell you and your kids stories of the Prophets and companions, to accompany you in the process of developing a lovely family under HIS guidance and to hold your hands tightly to the highest level of Jannah, InshaAllah...

"And one of HIS signs is that HE created mates for you from yourselves that you may find rest in them and HE put between you love and compassion; most surely there are signs in this for a people who reflect." Ar - Rum: 21

"And Zakariya, when he cried to his Lord: O my Lord, leave me not alone; and THOU art the best of inheritors."Al - Anbiya: 89

     I'm turning 21 years old (on 24 Safar) in few days time according to the Hijri calendar and 20 years old in less than 8 months according to the Georgian calendar, InshaAllah. (Realising I'm getting older some of the uncles and aunts started to talk about marriage with me. lol. Are they giving me signals to get married early?) Pray for me, for us, and for the Ummah! Pray that each day which passes by will make us wiser, keep us closer to Allah in everything we do. Pray for our brothers and sisters in Gaza, in Syria, in Afganistan and all over the world. One day, Syrians will be saved, Palestine will be freed and Islam will rise again, InshaAllah... Ameen Ameen Ya Rabb!

"He (Yaqoub) said: Nay, your souls have made a matter of light for you, so patience is good; maybe Allah will bring them all together to me; surely HE is the Knowing, the Wise."
Yusuf:83

     Have a wonderful and blessed weekend with your loved ones. May Allah protect us at all times, May Allah shower us with HIS baraqah for all the deeds that we do,InshaAllah.

Who needs a forbidden relationship,
a boyfriend that is obviously Haraam to you
when you get the strongest supports and loves
from your family and true friends ?

The Halaal one will come to you when HE says,
"KUNFAYAKUN! This is the right time!
Here's your husband/wife." :)

Till then, Wassalam